J

Fly
Heh, Nicki always makes me think about her.

My best friend moved in with her boyfriend a few days ago.
She's done school, she's got a full time job, she's on her own. Her man's got a kid of his own, which is fine because she's amazing with kids. Her apartment is in Sudbury, roughly twenty minutes from Chemmy. I'm super happy for her, but my heart still sinks when I think of her not living at home anymore. The root of my discomfort, I believe, is twofold.

When we were kids, Jenny lived in the house directly across from mine. She moved a few times around Chelmsford after that, but the times I spent at her house, no matter where that was, were always just as memorable. At the age of ten, I'd run across the street to go skip rope with her, play Spyro, build cabins, and steal the neighbour's crab apples. Years after, it was her house that we'd leave school for on our lunch hour to go eat Chef and drink Bailey's. Later still, I'd take a short walk to her house to unwind, catch up, sit in the hurricane aftermath that was her room and hit the bong, complain about our lives, and have a cigarette with her mom. No matter what, it felt great because it was Jenny's. It was my second home. Now, when I go visit my friend, it'll no longer be at her place. It'll be their place. I guess it'll just take some getting used to.

My second problem, I must admit, is envy. Today, after listening to my dad rant about all the reasons I'm headed in the wrong direction (like wanting to live in the city after university instead of a dead-end town with virtually no opportunities concerning my career of choice, having too many male friends, and not dressing conservatively enough for his liking), then sitting through his third fit of irrational anger that day, this time because I wouldn't tell him what I had been talking about on the phone earlier, all the while doing his dishes and wondering what the fork I was washing would look like stuck in his neck in a cartoon-like fashion, I realized that if I don't move out soon, I'll either kill him, or turn into him. My mom tells me to stick it out for another year, and stop arguing with him. Just ignore him, she says. But how do you sit there and let someone who is so utterly in the wrong go on thinking his opinion is absolute? I feel like any money issues would be better than the effect he has on my self-concept. Plus, I think we'd actually get along better if I didn't live at home.

My only consolation is the next few days. It's my reading week and for the first time in an incredibly long time, I'm off work for five days. I'm going to have lunch with Eddie tomorrow, then I'm headed to check Jen's new place out. Damn I miss that girl.